no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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