Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
