Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
