I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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