Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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