he thought i was a dude.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
