Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I want her autograph on my taint
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
