i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
