im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
