Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We are two peas in an std pod
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
