Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
