just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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