NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
