He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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