it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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