I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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