We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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