Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
