I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
