the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
