forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
