i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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