I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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