so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
