Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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