I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
