I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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