she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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