Already got asked if we're dating
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so let's talk penis.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
