i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
