What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
