Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
