Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
