Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
