i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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