Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
