The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
