Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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