Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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