i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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