After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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