In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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