i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
