guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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