In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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