he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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