I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
