Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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