Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
