dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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