Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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